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Dirty Little Grammar Error: Exercise 1

This first exercise will be a good one for getting your feet wet in our grammatical skinny dip. The focus are our dirty little secret grammatical thrills.

What's the grammatical error that gets you off, that you love to spot or to commit, that you cannot resist touching with the tip of your red pen when you see it, that makes you squeal when uttered, that makes you froth when left untouched?  Explain the error to us and create some celebration of that tawdry little malapropism.  Whip out your dangling modifiers and let them dangle lewdly.

Your celebration of this error can take whatever form you wish: exotic dance, biblical love poem, erotic cake, trashy date, slide show, or limerick.

Due: Whenever

Grammar Strip Tease: Exercise 2

Take an existing poem from classical lit or any old textual dive bar, then rewrite that poem, slowly, teasingly revealing the sweat-glistening grammar underneath. In other words, as the poem progresses, gradually name more of the grammatical components (parts of speech, parts of a sentence, punctuation, etc.) until the poem is nothing but naked grammar, exposed for its salivating, Euro-waving patrons.

Mae Westron Wynde
ex.   Westron Wynde preposition helping-verb pronoun verb?


My Mistress' Thighs (Sonnet 130)
ex.  My mistress' eyes are nothing like the object...of the preposition.

Except instead of just using one line, try it with the entire poem. Whether you try classical burlesque peep-show style or contemporary pole dancing, strip down the poem to its grammatical flesh slowly to better tantalize your audience. Prose poems are allowed if they tickle your fancy.  Tickling is allowed as well.  As to fancy, well, fancy or foul, that's up to you.

[Poems -- or any texts in this course -- do not have to be in English]

Grammar Lesson & Porn Mashup: Exercise 3

Those first 2 exercises were, of course, foreplay, but before we thrust headlong into the deeper challenges, here's a fairly easy trick to turn.

Taking whatever you'd like as your basest base materials, mash together a grammatical lesson on some subject with some pornographic material, which can include: images, audio, video, animation, smutty text, or 1990s-style haptic bodysuit response porn.

Remember, grammatical lessons tend to either focus on an error and how to correct it ro more generally define a concept, offer examples, and can include exercises or practice sentences.

Now that you've begun to go multimedia, I wanted to suggest some tools for this game:

Mashing Tools:

But really use whatever you'd like or none at all.  Let others know if you have a favorite toy for this play!  Just be sure to sanitize it before you share it.

Due: Whenever

Quizilicous: Exercise 4

Well, weve established the degree to which we get our rocks off upon grammar rules. Now its time to enter some teacherly sadism: Pop Quiz your Classmates!  Let's face it -- why do we even have grammar if not to take the messy fleshy soup  of language and make it quizable!

For this exercise, create a saucy grammar quiz for your fellow classmates and teacher to take.  You can just make a list of questions or use one of these fine quiz making tools:

Or you can just type up a list of questions and post it as a response to this.
(Suggestion: The penalty for failure should be something grammatically erotic.)

Due: Whenever

Grammar Porn Video: Exercise 5

All right, while you are getting all hot and bothered about exercise 4, let me introduce another twist and a tickle with this exercise.

Now, living in Los Angeles, just beneath the Valley, porn capital of the world, you might expect my involvement with home video production.  As it happens, I do produce my own line of videos.  Here's a taste.  For this prompt, I'd love for you to try to make your own Grammar Porn Video.

[1 of "22 Short Films about Grammar" I made a while back.]

strong>Task: Use whatever materials you'd like. Suggestions include: dubbing over existing videos, remixing home videos, adding pornographic sound effects to a grammar instructional video, creating a grammar porn machinima with your favorite video game, or turning on a web cam and well having at it.

Due: Whenever +. This one might take a little longer.

Here are a few tools:

  • Xtranormal -- I know Scott's used this. It used to have more free stuff. It's fun to use.
  • GoAnimate -- Never used it, but it looks like an Xtranormal knock off.
  • Stupeflix -- I believe this is a Hairy Potter spell
  • Youtube itself offers links to a bunch of these tools
  • Korsakow -- "dynamic storytelling" tool.
  • TubeDubber -- yeah, this was the tool from exercise 3

Or, you can just turn on the old webcam (on your dictionary).

Collaborative Grammar Porn Poem -- Gramporem! Exercise 6

For this exercise, on this Google Doc, let's collaborate on a grammar porn poem together.  We can do it exquisite corpsish and just let people add as they go -- or however you'd like.  Once the group poetry writing orgy begins it's always hard to adhere to boundaries.

Due: Whenever

During the second week of the course, try some of the other exercises, give a lecture, assign other exercises, and plan the course party. It's going to rock!

This may be the last exercise I assign, but if I get the urge, look out:

On-going Exercise:

It is the way of the UnderAcademy for the students to be the teachers. This pedagogical approach is actually our way around prohibitions of student-teacher fraternization policies.  For this open assignment, you can pick a day to teach a lesson to your fellow seminals.  Here are some things you could do as you take the role of teacher for the day:

  • Create a droning PowerPoint lecture
  • Disregard student email inquiries
  • Create an impossible assignment & watch your classmates squirm
  • Change the grading schema to favour your favourites
  • Dismiss the class early for a round of drinking and whoring
  • Demand sexual favours from the class in exchange for permissiveness regarding the grading of bibliographic format.

These are just several ideas you may implement.

Reply to this blog post to sign up for a day -- any time between now and August 3rd. Or just do it. Be sure to give your lesson a name and add whatever else you'd like in the way of assignments, discussion topics, et cetera.

Bad Grammar: a student led assignment

By Sonny Rae Tempest

here. I offer this exercise in an attempt to keep the grammatical balls a'rolling:

That dirty little secret of yours is about to expose itself today were gonna play with bad grammar. Naughty little pixies that adorn are speech  were careful to hide them when writing but you ain't convincing me you don't use them when you talk. Use these leather-bound rebels to adorn your poetry, your art, your member of creation now go!

Whip them into submission, or let them dominate your words. They are wild they are low class they are primitive They wear their scarlet squiggles with pride. Bad grammar will leave you on the sidewalk bleeding but will never be ashamed to call you "friend."

For this exercise, create a poem or photo or painting or video or breakfast or anything, using grammar not only badly, but sexily.