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Crazy Cabbage Lady

edited April 2017 in Dishes
Main Ingredients:
step-brother
airplane
guard
cabbage
butter

Spice Pack:
1/4 of jolliness
1/2 a pinch of whims

See I am one of 9 children. 2 of my siblings are half, and 4 others were adopted, but I guess you could somewhat call them stepsiblings. Well anyways my step-brother has this crazy story he used to tell all the time. So he was on an airplane once, right. He was one of the first to board, and had sat down in the isle seat. About 15 minutes later a woman came and sat in the window seat next to him, leaving the middle seat open. Within seconds this lady pulls out a cabbage from the bag she was carrying, and places it in the seat between them. She then puts the seat belt on the cabbage, and begins to talk to it. SHE WAS TREATING THIS MASSIVE PIECE OF LETTUCE LIKE IT WAS HER CHILD. She named it butter and she spoke to it with a sort of jolliness of you will. My step-brother just sat there in mere disbelief at what he was encountering. He then asked her, “Miss I am sorry but I think someone might be sitting there soon,” she looked at him, smiled and replied, “Oh no honey, I bought this seat for Butter, thank you though ☺.” He then had a slight urge to call over the flight attendant to tell her to call a guard or something, to get this crazy lady, WHO BOUGHT HER CABBAGE A SEAT, off the plane, but he soon thought about the recent Asian man who had been dragged off the United flight. Keep in mind the airline he is flying with is United as well. He then felt bad for her, and instead of call the attendant he ended up just put his headphones on and did his best to ignore her. The entire flight she treated the cabbage like a small child, and when they had landed she simply unbuckled it from the seat, placed it back in her bag, and went about her way.

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