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Your arms look like carrots.

Main Ingredients:
bus stop

Spice Pack:
1/2 dash of apprehension
1 pinch of annoyance

Last night, I was waiting at the bus stop to go home. It was an exhausting day – my tolerance for bullshit was low. So, of course, the universe does its thing and serves me a pile of bullshit.

It came in the form of a guy best described as an overweight Channing Tatum. He was just fit enough to be a lifeguard, so I'll call him Lifeguard. Lifeguard went up to me and told me something, but I had my earphones on. I took them off and asked him what he said. He replied, "Your arms look like carrots."

I mean, it's true, but it's also like... wut. I kind of just ignored the comment and tried to return to my music, but before I could put my earphones back in, he said, "Mango."

At this point, I was getting pretty weirded out. I'm a scrawny film kid, not Beyonce – leave me alone. I decided to walk away from the bus stop, and Lifeguard didn't follow me. Thank God.

Except, ten seconds later, the bus arrived at the station. I could either miss this one – and wait another 20 minutes – or get inside and risk having an entire ride with this mango-loving motherfucker.

I turned back and headed for the bus. Lifeguard was staring at me. Why, life. Why. I joined the line in front of the bus doors, and Lifeguard stood right behind me.

He tapped my shoulders. I was only a couple steps from entering the bus, so I didn't respond. But then he began hitting my shoulders like they were bongo drums or some shit, so finally, I pulled my earphones out and shouted, "OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK."

A pause. He smiled and replied, "You're my daughter."


  • The analogy of the 'Lifeguard' and how you describe your feelings are funny, I really like it.

    The end of the story is kind of scary, and it leaves a lot of space for imagination.
  • Hahahahah Tan what?!?!! this story is absolutely amazing, and had me dying of laughter the entire time. Your imagination is outstanding, and I really love reading your work. Thank you for being in this class, because you have brought so much joy into my life. This story really is great, and the ending was such a plot twist, totally didn't expect that coming. HAHAHA Great Work!! :)
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