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Extra Dirty

edited April 2017 in Dishes
Main Ingredients:
First Girlfriend
Court
Detective
Olive
Prune

Spice Pack
1/3 cup of satisfaction
1/4 pinch of uncertainty

You’re probably wondering how I, a good man like myself has been sentenced to prison. Well I’m going to tell you. It all started when I finally met my first girlfriend. She seemed like the one! The one I would want to marry in the long run. I mean she was the best girlfriend EVER. Well, yes she was my only one but still. So get this. We had just came across our 5-month anniversary and on that night while at dinner at some fancy restaurant she had finally asked me to meet her parents. After rounds of martinis I was toooooo ecstatic, because I’ve never met any girls’ parents before. I mean I was so excited I remember I bought her the desert special which was some type of olive cake. Sounds nasty but was actually amazing. The next week we ended up going up to her house about 2 states north in the woods. A little sketch so I was a little hesitant but hell, Ive got a girlfriend! So we finally arrived after a long drive and her parents where already outside waiting for us. Her parents seemed pretty off when I first met them but I saw through that because this weekend was supposed to be an important milestone for us. Her dad kept mentioning something about him being a detective or something but his wife just kept telling me he watched a lot of CSI. Well I believed her rather than him but guess what. I was WRONG. After a heated debate on if pineapples go on pizza or not her whole family turned on me and tried kicking me out and ended up calling the feds and claimed I was a burglar. Doesn't help I'm a brotha either. All the evidence was pitted against all because her father ACTUALLY does this for a living. Can you believe it!? A staged break in over food. A dirty cop if you ask me. So here I am in court facing up to 2 years. The worst part, my friend warned me about her too. And I mean I should have seen it as well, I mean, who likes a dirty martini with PRUNES? Thats REALLL dirty.

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