Main Ingredients:
skype session
Recruiter
Butter
Garlic
Hot chile bean paste

Spice Pack:
1/3 dollop of anticipation
1/8 whisper of reluctance
1/3 tablespoon of zest
1/2 cup of woe


Everything was set in place. The candles were lit, the lighting was dim, and soft jazz as playing in the background. This was Michael’s first date with the woman he met a week ago. Well it was a skype session but it was all that they could manage since Caren, the woman who Michael was eagerly awaiting to appear on his laptop screen, was a recruiter for the top porch awning company in the country so she traveled a lot.

They met during the tri-state regional porch awning conference where Michael was begrudgingly catering the event. He hated hosting these kinds of events. The attendees always had a false sense of importance because this was one of the few times out of the year when they were all together in mass which made them feel safe to be assholes. They understood the opportunity was fleeting so they took advantage of their numbers to established social distance between themselves and the staff by making implausible demands and patronizing anyone who dared make eye contact with them. Not only that but the food that Michael caters with always makes him smell like pickled garlic.

But Caren wasn’t like the rest of them. She had a fiery step in the way she walked and her clothes were vibrant. Caren’s voice was buttery but loud. She addressed everyone with respect. The flip of her hair mesmerized anyone who had the opportunity to see her walk by and she didn’t mind Michael’s often off-putting stench, it apparently reminded Caren of her recently deceased Grandmother. They were very close. And for whatever reason, she agreed to a skype date and gave Michael her card, it was laminated.

Now was the moment and everything was in place. They had agreed to commence their date at exactly 9:15 EST; Caren was extremely punctual and does not take tardiness lightly. It was 9:14 and Michael was eagerly awaiting her call, but he had forgotten his hot chile bean paste was still on the stove. He rushed to take the pot off the stove but as he ran to the kitchen Caren called. Michael was a particular person and had to place the paste in its proper place. But as he was placing the paste in its appropriate tubberware, Michael spilled the paste all over his finely pressed suit giving him 2nd degree burns all over his body. As he yelled in agony he rushed back to the laptop to answer Caren’s call. However, by the time he reached the computer Caren had finally hung up. Michael immediately called back but she wouldn’t answer. Caren takes timeliness very seriously. She wouldn’t have anything todo with Michael and from that moment they never spoke to each other again. Michael would see Caren a few more times at the porch awning conferences but she never gave him a passing glance. So is the sad tale of Michael the caterer.