Main Ingredients:
doppelganger
lord
pork shoulder
kale
glasses

Spice Pack:
1/2 tablespoon of fondness
1/3 pinch of depression

Glasses

Spice Pack:
1/2 tablespoon of fondness
1/3 pinch of depression

Put kale in a smoothie and all of sudden it turns into a health freak beverage! The pineapple, banana, blueberry smoothie at the Earthbar in Equinox Gym DTLA is now my new, absolute, all-time favorite drink. To ensure a drink is healthy (aka bright green in color), always make sure to add the kale for an extra buck.

The smoothie bar inside the marvelous Equinox Gym is as overpriced as the upscale gym membership. Sexy employees that fulfill your every request and a list of amenities longer than a five star restaurant menu (I’m talking the kind that serves pork shoulders imported from Greenland pastures), Equinox was a gym built for hollywood stars and British Lords.

Being your more-broke-than-average broke college student, it’s a miracle I’d ever have access to this holy place of luxury. So how did I manage to get in? The answer to is...doppleganger. From an inside source at the Equinox front desk, I was told that I have a doppelganger who also happens to be an Equinox gym member. Upon discovering this fun fact, I saw a chance. I seized it. The only thing that separated me from my doppleganger was a pair of glasses, a quick fix. Dressed in my doppleganger disguise made sneaking in through the guarded doors of Equinox a breeze.

But there was something about this magical, doppleganger-given experience that left a bitter taste in my mouth. No, it wasn’t the lingering hint of kale from my smoothie. It was the the taste of luxury, which in comparison, left everything in my simple life taste slightly less appealing than before.