Ingredients:
Bowling alley
Condensed milk
Secretary
Vanilla
Aunt

Spice Pack:
¼ cup of whimsical
⅛ smidge of carelessness


You know what’s annoying? Having hypocrites depending on you to once again save the day with your brilliant schemes.

Maybe the situation needs more explaining.

I met this fabulous man over condensed milk and honey at the new coffee place on 8th and Westbury the other day. Once he told me how he secretly adored Cyrus from Scandal, but never could tell anyone because of the amount of shame that would be heaped on him I was sold.

After we exchanged numbers we’ve been stuck to each other like Heidi and Spencer child.

It really feels like love!

Back to my situation. My “friends” keep reminding me that we have only known each other for 3 weeks, like that matters. So what if I let him have the passwords to my Facebook and a key to my apartment already? When you know you just KNOW. I’m a young and successful secretary. I’m allowed to live my best life!

OHHKAY back to the scheme. They are depending on me (MVP) to win our league championship at the Del Amo Lucky Strikes bowling alley on Thursday, but I may be slightly off my game on account of my serious relationship.

Here’s the plan. Our rival team’s best player loooves him some vanilla honeys, you know how these millenial black boys are. So I’m gon take advantage of my lonely auntie Carol and distract him for the win.

The only thing I hadn’t accounted for was the possibility that he was gay too.

Girl…..had I known this I would have been on him like the 2016 NBA All Star teams on KyLIPS Jenner at a Kardashian pool party…

What was I talking about again?
Oh yeah. We lost.
And I had to get his number for educational purposes and uhh future schemes.