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The Quickest Way to a Man's Heart (Rehash)

edited April 2017 in Dishes
Your Basket:

Main ingredients:

condensed milk
bowling alley

Spice Pack:

1 dash of neglect
¼ teaspoon of frivolity

My poor Aunt Beth was madly in love. Or she thought she was, at least. I personally believe that the emotion she felt towards her boss was closer to infatuation, but that’s just me. I guess that’s what happens when you’re neglected by your sorry excuse for a husband. That being said, I told her that if she was so unhappy with her marriage she should just divorce her husband and find someone new – someone who wasn’t her boss.

Aunt Beth got her secretary job after she was recommended by a friend. When she first saw who she’d be working for, she was immediately smitten. Tall, dark, and handsome, Mr. Callahan was the type of man you’d expect to see in the movies, not an office. The worst thing was that he knew it. Aunt Beth never stood a chance.

Aunt Beth knew that Callahan had a sweet tooth so she’d bake him some sweets everyday. Her cupboards were always loaded with flour, sugar, vanilla, condensed milk – anything that would help her win over her boss. After all, the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach right?

It turns out that the quickest way to a man’s heart is actually through his ribcage. When Aunt Beth’s husband found out that all the food his wife was cooking wasn’t simply a reflection of her own frivolity and was actually for another man, he flipped out. Aunt Beth’s husband sent a message to Callahan through her email telling him to meet her at a nearby bowling alley. That’s where the husband shot Callahan.

And that was the end of that. A modern day Romeo and Juliet.


  • Love this! The title definitely caught my attention and I particularly enjoyed how there was a reference to the aunt baking - but rather than just listing the ingredients, you were able to use them to create quite a humorous (and slightly tragic) story.
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