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Ingredient Detective

Main Ingredients:
First girlfriend
Spice Pack:
1/8 pinch of disgust
½ smidge of satisfaction

I sat on the couch playing a game, while my first girlfriend slaved away in the kitchen cooking. Whatever she was creating made a unique and incredibly strong smell that piqued my curiosity. Pausing the game I was playing and walked over to see what she was creating, she was no master chief but cooking food from the limited ingredients I had laying around in my fridge gave her a great sense of satisfaction. So much satisfaction that she forbade me from seeing what exactly she was making. She completely obscured my vision, so like a detective I searched for clues in order to deduce what exactly she was making. The only ingredients I could find from my vantage were olives and prunes. However these clues led me to no conclusions due to the fact I have never eaten either (nor remember buying them) and that my girlfriends cooking style is “unique”. While most chiefs have a narrow column of uses for ingredients based on taste or chemistry my girlfriend takes advantage of the names of the ingredients themselves to solve problems with the recipe. Whilst cooking pasta, she substituted cream with cream cheese, get it because they both have cream in them, they must function the same way. I have eaten countless meals cooked with “cant belief its not butter” and she once substituted beef jerky as the meat in a tomato and meat sauce. However, no matter what it is she is cooking, I suppress my disgust and give it a fair chance in the court of my tastes, for her sake. I also always eat something after, when she isn’t looking.
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