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Alex the Archaeologist

Level: Chef

Main Ingredients:
• Children
• Archaeologist
• Hot Chile Bean Paste
• Pickles
• Book

Spice Pack:
• 1/3 smidge of despair
• ¼ cup of annoyance

During one’s lunch break an individual is free to do whatever they please. Some people nap while others eat. Well Alex chooses to read his favorite book of all time, Twilight.

“Break times over fellas. Get back to digging,” hollered the museum manager.

“Ugh, time to go back to digging through dirt again,” said Alex.

Within the beginning minutes after his break was over, Alex became irritated with the fact that he constantly was digging holes and looking at worthless bones of old fish.

“There has to be something more interesting than looking at dirt all day! I mean archaeologists are supposed to experience adventure not look at dirt and find nothing for eight hours everyday! Like come on!”, said Alex.

Well the archaeologist gods answered Alex’s wish for adventure that next day.

“Another day, another boring time digging through dirt finding nothing. I definitely won’t get these hours of my life back,” said Alex.

While looking through dirt with his shovel in hand Alex approached something interesting yet frightening. All of a sudden he finds something that makes his stomach sink. Underneath the brown boring dirt Alex found three children’s decayed boney skulls.

Alex terrified, reports his findings to his boss which results in his boss calling the police to notify them of their findings. Little did Alex know that these three skulls belong to the three children who were kidnapped and left to die. After learning this knowledge Alex was mortified and entered a pit of despair. He quit his job at the museum and began a hopeless life filled with non-stop consumption of pickle and hot chile bean paste sandwiches to fill the empty void of his heart.

“I will never dig through dirt again. I will never be irritated about being bored ever again”, said Alex.


  • pickle sandwiches always fill the existential void....such a great snack

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