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Vegan Moussaka

Main Ingredients:
former classmate
yoga instructor

Spice Pack:
1/8 cup of submission
1 tablespoon of whimsy

I was in the parking lot at Ralph's. Ran into a former classmate. I had a crush on her when I was 14, but because my friends said she was a "braceface," I called her a "braceface," too. She was the only girl who was actually nice to me. (She invited me to see Home Alone with her and her little sister). Her teeth are straight. Mine are crooked.

"Hey! Jen!"

"???" She was puzzled.

"Jen! From LC! Art class?"

"Bri... Bra... Bru... Brutus!" She remembered!

"What have you been up to?"

"Well, I was working for a bank, but now I am a yoga instructor."

"Yoga! Wow! I love yoga. It really keeps me calm, centered."

"Well, if you want to sign up for a class, I can give you my card."

"Hey, I don't suppose you want to come over for dinner. I was going to make some vegan Moussaka. Got some nice tomatoes!" I hoisted my grocery bag (so she cannot see the pizza rolls and vodka). Happy I brought a reusable bag. In the other hand, I had a produce bag of tomatoes.


"A restaurant, then?"


Next, you go home throw some tomatoes in a pot. Dump some flour and and crank the heat. Smash them. Pour six ounces of Popov into a glass. Drink that. Drop the glass into the sink until it breaks. Cut hand trying to pull the glass out of the garbage disposal. Imagine someone turning on the garbage disposal. Produce bag is melting because you turned on the wrong burner. Throw everything into the sink. Put pizza rolls into the microwave. Turn on 24. Pour another glass of Popov. Some pizza rolls are too hot and burn your mouth. Some have ice in the middle. Why do I still live with my mom?

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