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Lamb Shoulder and Artichoke

As my step-dad stepped into the kitchen, my mind started racing. I picked up the remote and start scrolling through his netflix queue. Shocked, I covered my mouth so I wouldn’t make a sound. The queue was filled with murder documentaries and horror flicks. This information coupled with the bloody swords I had found in his room the night previous left little doubt in my mind that he was the killer..

As the smell of lamb shoulder and artichoke wafted in from the kitchen, I creeped slowly off the couch.I tiptoed up the steps and sat myself at my computer. I began typing this story onto a subreddit I frequent called nosleep looking for advice from strangers on the internet. Most told me to jump out the window immediately after calling the police while others told me to take his swords and give it to him real good as a revenge killing. My heartbeat reached a feverish speed as I debated what the best course of action was.

Since I valued my life more than glory, I chose the safe option.

As I began dialing 911, I noticed for a brief moment that the smell of lamb shoulder and artichoke were getting stronger. Shrugging it off, I forced my voice into whisper as I explained the situation to the operator.

I finished and slumped back into my chair, satisfied with my stealth.The smell of food was stronger than ever as I looked to the left and saw a plate of lamb shoulder and artichoke on my desk. Before I could cry out I felt something pierce my back. I looked down to see a sword protruding from the front of my chest.

The last thing I heard was “I am your sensei, don’t fuck with me.”

lamb shoulder
netflix queue

Spice Pack:
1/2 teaspoon of remorse
1 tablespoon of overwhelmed


  • What is wrong with the world? I used to think it was just me that had this luck. But I kind of think it might all be intertwined.

    I was thinking about that guy with the basil I read about, the fake hippie. Your step-dad. The guy who showed up at my house pretending he was my cousin.

    You can use beef broth, it throws off the sniffer drones, if you are worried about that. Wine is good if the water is a problem.
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